What was it like being a disciple of one of
Satan's angels? Quite enjoyable, at first. Many fascinating and interesting
things began to happen in my life. I was even taken to live in a kind of
paradise for a while and I felt blessed.
I had regarded Djwhal Khul's appearance as a
very personal matter and so did not tell anyone about it, not even Muriel.
Several months had passed since the master's
visitation. Only a handful of people were in attendance at the midweek healing
service held at the Lighted Way. Muriel was conducting the candle lighting
ordinance.
A small candle, called the Christ candle, was
burning in the center of the altar. Muriel invited each person, in turn, to
come up to the altar, take a small white candle, and light it from the burning
candle. The person then placed his lighted candle in a circle around the Christ
candle. After that Muriel channeled the person a short message.
It was soon my turn to walk forward.
Standing before the altar, I waited for her to
give me a personal message. Muriel closed her eyes and channeled: “You are a
personal disciple of Djwhal Khul. He is giving you instructions through your
meditations and is also implanting thought-forms into your mind during sleep”.
She squinted as if focusing on more data coming
into her mind. “In a past lifetime you were a monk in Djwhal Khul's lamasery in
Tibet. In your spirit existence before you incarnated into this present life,
you had a meeting with him on the spirit planes”.
I leaned forward to listen very carefully.
“A pact was made, and you agreed to incarnate
with the specific purpose of becoming one of his disciples. It was planned that
you would undergo strict training and then help Djwhal Khul in some special
projects that needed to be carried out on the planet in connection with the New
Age”.
Muriel opened her eyes and smiled. With a
motion of her hands, she briefly swept my aura in the area of my head and
shoulders to balance the energy.
“Thank you”, I said, and returned to my seat.
I thought to myself, “So Muriel knows about my
discipleship. I wonder what else the masters have told her about me”.
Because I was determined to be a diligent
disciple for my master, I spent a lot of my spare time studying Djwhal Khul's
teachings as presented in the Alice Bailey books. I was especially interested
in information concerning “the Christ” and his “second coming”.
The books stated that the New Age will set the
stage for the return of “the Christ”, a physical appearance of the master who
heads the Hierarchy of Masters. The work of the Hierarchy is to prepare the way
for this event; humanity's duty is to accept him and work in harmony with his
teachings and advice when he appears.
I learned that the term “the Christ” does not
refer to a specific person; rather, it is the name of an executive office
within the Hierarchy, equivalent to saying, “the president” of a country. Alice
Bailey states that a master called Lord Maitreya holds the position of the
Christ, having occupied it for some 2,000 years. She emphasizes that the return
of “the Christ” will be the same event as the promised return of the Messiah of
Christianity.
Muriel taught the theory that, coinciding with
the start of the new age of Aquarius, Maitreya may soon move on to other duties
of a more exalted kind elsewhere in the universe. His position as the Christ
would, in that case, be taken over by one of the other senior masters, such as
Koot Hoomi or “Master Jesus”.
She emphasized that the masters need human
disciples to help them prepare the planet for the coming of the Christ. The New
Age movement is meant to provide a human resource base from which the masters
can recruit disciples to work in the various aspects of their operations, areas
such as politics, education, religion, culture, commerce, and finance.
To train such disciples, Muriel started the
Lighted Way classes in meditation and channeling. The Hierarchy needed
dedicated channels who would follow the masters' instructions and would
sacrifice time, energy, and money to obediently carry out the directions given
- directions that were to be regarded as being the will of God.
In contrast to the process occurring at the
Lighted Way, the Bailey writings state that most of the Hierarchy's disciples
are unconscious of the relationship they have with their masters. When the
master communicates ideas by means of telepathy, the disciple is not even aware
of what is happening; he simply thinks the ideas are his own mind's creativity
at work. Supposedly many of the world's government leaders, economists,
philanthropists, and religious leaders are such “unknowing” disciples of the
masters.
“It is time to move out of this house”, the
inner voice of conscience spoke as I meditated one morning. “I want you to live
alone. You need to be in a less distracting home environment, where you can
spend more time meditating and studying”.
The message came through very clearly. I was
still living in the Los Angeles house that I had shared with three close
friends for a couple of years. I wondered where I was supposed to move. The
inner voice spoke again.
“You should move to the city of Torrance. Find
a quiet apartment that has plenty of light. You will be paying more for rent,
but do not be concerned. Know that you are blessed by God, and all will be well”.
Torrance is a Los Angeles suburb about
twenty-five miles south of where I was living. I would be nearer to my job, but
I didn't like the idea of living on my own as a recluse. I decided that the
direction to move was coming from my higher self and it was in my best interest
to obey, even though I was apprehensive.
As I thought about the move, I realized that my
lifestyle had changed dramatically since I began attending classes at the
Lighted Way and since I became a disciple of Djwhal Khul. My spiritually
oriented life was no longer compatible with the worldly “secular” lifestyle of
my roommates. I had lost all interest in visiting bars, one of my favorite
former pastimes, I had no longer dated since the time I took a private vow of
celibacy. As I became aware of how much lurid filth, sexually stimulating
material, and violence were depicted in the media, I had gradually decreased
attendance at movies. I even made a conscious effort to eliminate all profanities and coarse
expressions from my speech as I strove to live as godly a life as I could.
Instead of dating and indulging in “worldly”
entertainment, I endeavored to spend my time in the study of esoteric
literature, in prayer, and in meditation. Countryside walks and visits to
museums replaced visits to the beach and parties. Aspiring to seek after the
kingdom of God instead of the things of this world, I spent much time
contemplating my spiritual path and walk with “God”.
After moving the last of my belongings, I sat
on the carpeted floor of my new apartment and meditated. “Welcome to the White
Brotherhood”, a crisp, clear inner voice announced. “The masters are very
pleased with your progress along the path. You are to be congratulated for your
willingness to proceed onward in the face of difficulties. Keep moving forward.
Keep on the straight and narrow path. You have a tendency to work too hard sometimes.
Take time for rest. Keep balanced. My blessings. I am Sanat Kumara”.
Wow, I thought, Sanat Kumara himself has taken
the time to channel a special message for me. I was amazed how clear the words
were, as if someone had actually spoken into the inside of my brain. I was
filled with joy and gladness.
From Djwhal Khul's teachings, I was somewhat
familiar with Sanat Kumara, a mysterious and interesting character. Apparently
all the senior masters of the Hierarchy, including “the Christ”, were
supervised by this great spirit being of non human origin who supposedly
originated from Venus.
My meditations were now always accompanied by
bright light shining in my forehead. Muriel told me the light indicated that my
third-eye center - the chakra located in the forehead - had been “opened”.
Especially after Djwhal Khul's visitation, I
noticed that my meditations were sometimes accompanied by mystical phenomena.
For example, on several occasions a bright, multicolored display of lights
cascaded around inside my forehead. It was like looking into a giant
kaleidoscope. On infrequent occasions, I had more profound mystical
experiences. One time I woke up in the middle of the night to find my bedroom
filled with green light. It looked as if my room were filled with microscopic
smoke particles, and a green-colored fluorescent light had been switched on - a
bit like a disco filled with colored smoke. In spite of the strangeness of the
occurrence, I felt a soothing peace. I had not taken any drugs, for they were
forbidden to those on the metaphysical path.
On one Christmas morning, when I sat down to
meditate, suddenly my brain was flooded with bright, white light. I felt a
beautiful sense of tranquility, like pure bliss. A comforting sensation of
warmth filled my body, as if I were sitting in the warm summer sun and the
sunshine were able to penetrate the entire depth of my body tissues. Sitting in
this peaceful light for several minutes, I thought to myself, “What a wonderful
Christmas gift from God”.
During one Sunday morning worship service,
Muriel channeled a prophetic message for me during the candle lighting
ordinance.
“Someone at your work is going to leave shortly”,
she said. “It means that you will be promoted and have more responsibility”.
As soon as Muriel spoke, in my own mind I could
distinctly hear the name, Jack Thompson. But then I immediately rationalized
that there was no way he would leave the company because he had been there so
long. I decided that our vice president must be the person implied in the message.
Two days later, our company president announced
an unexpected staff meeting. He began to speak: “I have brought you together to
inform you that Jack Thompson is leaving the company”.
A chill ran down my spine.
“Jack is moving back to his home state of
Missouri”, the boss continued. “We wish him all the best in his new venture. We
will, of course, need to reorganize the department to cover his duties”.
I was shocked. Muriel's message had been
absolutely accurate. Furthermore, when Muriel had given me the prophecy, the
inner voice of my higher self had clearly told me the correct identity of the
person about to leave, even though my rational intelligence had dismissed it as
being illogical. I realized that I needed to pay much closer attention to the
inner voice of my conscience; apparently it knew information that my rational
mind was incapable of accessing.
After Jack's resignation from the company, I
received the promotion, just as Muriel had predicted. My trust in Muriel's
relationship with “God” was now unshakable, and I was totally dedicated to work
with her as part of my discipleship training. I began to entertain the idea
that if I obediently followed the discipleship path, I could take the “initiations”
talked about in the Bailey writings. Supposedly, these rare events occurred
while a disciple was asleep and visiting the heavenly realms in his “soul body”.
The teachings stated that the ultimate goal of discipleship was to take the
fifth initiation, called the “Christhood” initiation. At this, the disciple
would become a master himself and live in bliss as an immortal servant of “God”.
A few months after Muriel's accurate prophecy
regarding the changes at my work, she suddenly suspended the Sunday morning
services at the Lighted Way in order to give herself more time for personal
transformation. To keep up my rhythm of church going, I was impressed to attend
the church nearest to where I lived, which happened to be a Lutheran
congregation. Believing that I was walking with the same God, I was happy to
worship alongside Christians in their churches.
It was early December. New services and classes
had begun at the Lighted Way. During the first Sunday service, Muriel channeled
a message for me as I stood at the altar.
“There is going to be a surprise for you at
Christmas”, she said. No more information was given, and I returned to my seat.
Since joining the Lighted Way, my life had been
full of interesting surprises. They were almost becoming the norm, so I didn't
pay much attention to this latest message.
Just before Christmas, I knelt in front of the
altar in my apartment to begin a session of prayer and meditation. There I
received a clear message spoken by the inner voice of the silence. “You are
soon going to be making a move that will take you overseas”, it said. “Just
where you are going is not to be made known yet”.
I felt strange. An intuitive sense told me that
this message was very important, even though I was not told where or when I
would move.
I wondered whether I was going to move back to
my home country of England? I also thought that perhaps the masters wanted me
to move to Hawaii, where I had been involved with a lot of business dealings in
my job.
The next evening, I attended a group channeling
session. A partner channeled a personal message for me in response to questions
I asked about the impending move. “The move you are to make is not necessarily
a permanent one”, she said. “It will clear up old energies. It also involves
further training under the supervision of the Hierarchy. Start to sell all the
things you are not able to take with you. Travel very light. You are entering a
new cycle of your life. After this cycle is over, you will be ready to start
your soul's true vocation for this incarnation”.
It had to be England; my thoughts were
constantly focused there. Conflicting feelings swept over me. I was very
excited about returning, but I was also apprehensive. I would be leaving a
good, secure job to face an unknown future. I agreed to trust the masters and
follow their directions.
I prayed this prayer of dedication to “God”:
'Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings. Thank you for revealing yourself to
me. I ask that my life will be guided by your divine power. I ask that all
illusions be dispelled from my mind and that your truth will be revealed to me.
I ask to be used as a servant of the Hierarchy. Amen”.
Seeking her advice and approval regarding the
apparent move to England, I went to Muriel for a private counseling session.
She channeled, “Your life is blessed. Have faith in God and go forth with an
attitude of lightness and joy. Though you will be doing various things in
England, the move is mainly a pilgrimage to release old attachments and resolve
past conflicts with your parents”.
Muriel was silent for a few moments before
continuing, “I do not see you working in a permanent job. You will do some
things for the Hierarchy there. I see you visiting Findhorn”.
I quit my job, sold all my furniture, gave away
a lot of my belongings, and flew to the United Kingdom with a single suitcase
containing all my possessions.
I felt sick with apprehension regarding the
move to London. The disorientation from not knowing where I was to stay or what
I was to do permeated my entire being. I booked into a hotel and waited for
further instructions from the masters.
A few days after my arrival in England, I awoke
one morning feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Almost in tears, I decided to
seek comfort in meditation. After I sat still for a few moments, suddenly a
blast of energy hit me. It felt as if I were being electrocuted as a surge of
light blitzed through my entire body and the voice of “God” howled into my
inner ear, “Go forth in strength!”
If I had not been sitting in a chair, the force
of the energy might well have knocked me to the floor. The blast lasted for
just a couple of seconds. After a pause of a couple more seconds, the energy
blast hit me again. “Go forth in strength!” the voice repeated.
I was then slain a third time.
“Go forth in strength!” it blitzed.
Then there was silence.
It was reassuring to know that “God” was
helping me. I felt at peace. My faith had been activated again, and I went
forward with courage.
Feeling that I should stay in London, I rented
a small apartment in the Earl's Court district. I had absolutely no idea how
long I would be staying there or what I was supposed to be doing. Perhaps it is
a permanent move, I thought. I will assume it is until I receive directions
informing me otherwise.
After the miraculous blast of energy from “God”,
I hoped that my medical problems would be healed. Unfortunately, I was to be
disappointed. My ailments remained. Only my courage and faith had been boosted
by the display of “God's” power.
During the day, I mainly looked for a job. In
the evenings I was impressed to take part in the activities of several New Age
organizations. I cherished a visit I made to the London operations of the Lucis
Trust, the organization that publishes Djwhal Khul's Alice Bailey books.
On Sunday mornings I attended services at a
local Anglican church. Sadness and disappointment filled me as I observed how
small the congregations in England were compared to the size of the churches.
Religion had been in decline for years, with many church buildings derelict or
converted into warehouses. Secularism had taken over. I regarded the New Age as
being the new hope to fill the spiritual void.
One morning in meditation, I was instructed to
make a pilgrimage to the famous Canterbury Cathedral, mother church of the
worldwide Anglican denomination. I had a beautiful time in Canterbury and spent
the entire day visiting that great historic church with its massive arches and
stone walls. Meditating in the sanctuary, I recited occult prayers and
invocations and performed an imagery ritual, in which I visualized the
cathedral and all its daughter churches being filled with the “Christ light”
channeled by the Hierarchy of Masters.
I made visits to several other great
cathedrals. On each occasion, I spent time meditating and praying in the
sanctuary, finishing the session with occult invocations and metaphysical
imagery rituals.
Vatican City of the New Age movement. This is
how Findhorn has been described. Upon arrival, I was absolutely overwhelmed by
the community of almost 400 people, located in a beautiful part of the Scottish
High lands. Here, Satan has built a paradise for his New Age followers.
The inner voice of meditation told me to visit
this New Age mecca about six months after my arrival in England. I had only a
vague recollection that Findhorn was some kind of small Christian retreat
center located in northern Scotland. Muriel had channeled that I would visit
Findhorn, but I had actually forgotten all about her prophecy since leaving the
United States.
Packing my bags, I drove all the way up to the
northern part of Scotland, where I had located the village of Findhorn on a
map. I anticipated staying at Findhorn for perhaps a couple of days. The
Masters had other plans.
This New Age Vatican City began in 1962 as a
small vacation trailer housing three adults and three children. From this
humble beginning, Satan worked a miracle in building up his prime New Age
educational institution.
The commune now comprises a large mobile home
and trailer park with extensive gardens and community buildings, an
eighty-seven room hotel that looks like a beautiful castle, a gorgeous
auditorium with facilities for performing arts classes, a publishing house with
printing shop, and several stately mansions complete with extensive gardens.
The community has hosted international conferences, and many thousands of
visitors have poured through its doors to attend its residential educational
programs.
This community is not a bunch of hippies. Most
of the people I met were university-educated professionals. During my stay, I
made friends with a former Jesuit priest, a seminary professor, and several
psychologists, to list but a few.
The main tenet of Findhorn's philosophy is the
idea that a “Christ energy” or “Christ-consciousness”
resides within each person. If people meditate, they can have access to this
infinite source of “wisdom” inside themselves known as the “Christ-self”, or
higher self. The goal of Findhorn's teachings is to train people to attune to
the “Christ” within and use it to guide their lives.
What I originally thought was going to be a
two-day visit soon became a two month venture with no sign that I should leave.
My meditation “guidance” kept telling me to stay at the community and
participate in the long-term guest programs. These involved working for
departments within the community.
For most of the time, I worked for the
publications department, helping to publish and manufacture the various New Age
books, magazines, and brochures printed by the Findhorn Press. These included
such books as David Spangler's Reflections
Upon the Christ and Donald Keys's Earth
at Omega, a book advocating the idea of a single world government as the
means of transforming the world and solving the critical problems it faces.
Keys is the founder of Planetary Citizens, a worldwide New Age organization
seeking change through political action. He has been a longtime consultant to
the United Nations.
The supervisor of guest workers in publications
was a charming elderly woman who had been living at Findhorn for many years.
She once confided to me that she was a Christian and regarded Jesus Christ as
her master. I became acquainted with other community members who had at one time
been Bible teachers; one of them was a former priest. Apparently, somewhere
along their Christian path they took a wrong turn.
As part of a two-month-long orientation program
designed to integrate people into full membership of the commune, I was
required to have an interview with two members of the community's personnel
department. This was to help them decide if I could be accepted as a full
member. After I had explained my situation and answered their questions, the
three of us did a group meditation. During the meditation, an intense, bright
light shone in my forehead. The energy was so strong that the couch I sat on
seemed to vibrate. This gave me confidence that my application to become a full
member was in “divine” order.
Jay, a bearded Canadian of slim build, was the
head of the personnel department. He started to speak during the meditation. “In
the best interest of Will's higher self, what advice can be given?” He seemed
to be asking the spirit world for guidance.
A further period of silence followed. In my own
mind I heard the words, “Yes, it is in divine order to join”.
Jay closed the meditation and confirmed that he
received a positive sense that it was God's will for me to become a member.
I began to see my role in life as becoming a
type of priest. I rejected my past aspirations - professional success,
financial comfort, and social standing - and accepted a new image of humbly
working for God in the role of a New Age monk, living a life of simplicity and
doing good deeds. I pledged myself to work for the uplifting of humanity
through selfless service.
I was allowed to join the publications staff as
a full member of the community. I was very happy to be a member of the world's
foremost New Age organization and looked forward to the wonderful opportunity
of working for the masters.
Excruciating despair swept over me.
I had just awakened in the morning and
mysteriously “knew” I had to leave Findhorn and return to Los Angeles. The
sudden, totally unexpected news devastated me. I had been a full member of the
community for only one week.
Don't ask me how I knew, but it was clear to me
that my time at Findhorn was over and that the masters wanted me to return to
the Lighted Way. It was as if the idea to leave had been implanted in my brain
while I was asleep.
I recalled reading that the masters have the
ability to plant “thoughtforms” into the mind of a disciple during sleep. When
the disciple awakens, these thoughtforms, manifested as powerful ideas, demand
attention and action. I reasoned that a thoughtform must have been implanted in
my mind that night.
I had come to appreciate living at Findhorn. I
had made many friends and did not want to leave such a paradise. After living
in the beautiful Scottish Highlands for six months, I dreaded returning to
smoggy, congested Los Angeles and its rat race.
Eventually pulling myself out of bed, I dressed
and headed for the sanctuary. A lot of meditating needed to be done before I
was willing to give up my beloved home.
Over the next few days, I spent hours and hours
in the sanctuary in silent contemplation. For some reason, I felt nauseated
with worry and apprehension at the prospect of returning to Los Angeles. But
the inner voice of meditation continually confirmed the need to move. I finally
reasoned that if I wanted to continue serving my beloved master, then I had no
choice but to obey the direction given.
What will Jay in personnel think? I wondered. I
had just given him a commitment to stay at Findhorn for at least a year.
Because the inner voice of my higher self would not allow me to tell people
that I was a personal disciple of Djwhal Khul, I had to come up with a
plausible explanation for my abrupt change of plan.
I approached Jay with embarrassment as he stood
in line for communal dinner. “Jay, I have some bad news for you. I have to
leave the community”.
Jay replied, “Oh. Well, I'm not surprised
really. Why don't you come and see me tomorrow?”
Fortunately, he understood my predicament of
having received unexpected guidance from “God”. I was able to leave with
integrity intact and an open door to return in the future.
Two years later I did return for a visit - as
an unusual born-again Christian with a gospel message of salvation through
Jesus.
-----------------------------
Chapter 7
