“Do not go”, the voice of conscience exhorted.
After work, I was planning to attend a special
evangelistic rally.
“Tonight you have to witness for me in the mall”,
the voice commanded.
Strongly wanting to go to the rally, I decided
to ignore the inner voice. A tension had been building inside of me for a couple
of weeks. I could sense that Jesus Christ
wanted me to devote even more time and effort to his ministry work.
And yet a rebelliousness started to grow inside
me, as if another force countering the instructions from Jesus were coming into
play.
Rebelling against my voice of conscience, I
attended the evangelist's meeting. It was held in the large auditorium of a
local college.
During the meeting I was seated next to a woman
who looked to be in her thirties. At the end of the event she asked me in a
soft voice, “Have you enjoyed the evangelist's talk?”
“Yes, he's pretty good”, I replied, “but I find
his view to be very narrow-minded”.
The truth was that I had felt very
uncomfortable during the preacher's talk. By the time it was over, I was
boiling with agitation against his fundamentalist stance and was determined to
start being bold and open about my New Age-oriented beliefs. I decided that I
had to counteract these heresies preached by the fundamentalists in the name of
my master.
The woman asked calmly, “What kind of religious
views do you have?”
“I am a New Age Christian”, I blurted out.
This was the first time I had made such a
statement to a Christian believer. The inner voice of conscience had always
cautioned me not be open about my New Age beliefs. But after hearing the
evangelist, I was angry and unwilling to be silent any longer. Unwittingly the
preacher had fanned the flames of my passion and courage.
To my surprise, the woman did not express any
disgust at my answer. “Oh”, she commented humbly, “I used to be involved with
the New Age myself, until I came to the Lord”.
From the way she expressed herself, I sensed
that she no longer approved of the New Age.
“Well, you shouldn't feel bad about it”, I said
frankly.
“The New Age has some excellent ideas and truths. Most of the New
Agers just lack the direct power of Jesus
Christ in their lives.
When she didn't answer, I asked politely, “Which
church do you attend?”
“The Church on the Way”.
“Oh yes”, I interrupted, “Jack Hayford's place.
I know about it. I have never been there, but I sometimes listen to Jack on the
radio”.
“Concerning this New Age Christianity you are
involved in, said the woman”, do you mind if I pray for you right now? I do not
know what you believe, but I would like to pray for you”.
“Yeah, sure, we can pray”, I replied, thinking
that I could always use extra prayers to help me in my ministry work.
The woman took hold of my hand as we prayed. “Dear
Heavenly Father”, she began. “I ask that you will give this brother wisdom to
perceive that which is true. Let him fully understand your Word. I ask that the
mighty power of the Holy Spirit will be at work in his life, leading him to a
true knowledge of Jesus. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen”.
How nice to be prayed for, I thought to myself
as I left the auditorium. Even though I have a close relationship with Jesus, I
would like to be filled with more of his power and truth.
About a week after the gospel rally, I was
preparing to quit work at the end of the day. “Do not go to the library”, the
inner voice instructed. “You must witness in the mall this evening”.
I remained aloof to the unwelcome voice of
conscience.
“You have to do my work”, it commanded sternly,
as if expressing the words of Jesus. “Time
is running out. You have to get your ministry established”.
The spirit of rebelliousness against the inner
voice rose again. On this particular evening, I stubbornly continued to ignore
the prompting. An alternative project loomed in the forefront of my mind: I
wanted to read a particular book. Even though the inner voice kept exhorting me
to do mall witnessing, I determined to obtain a copy of this book.
In my earlier study of Gordon Melton's Encyclopedia of American Religions, I had
read an interesting section describing a woman who claimed to have had visions
from God during the middle of the nineteenth century. The idea that a Christian
mystic lived before the time of Madam Blavatski and Alice Bailey stimulated my
deep interest. It sounded as if she may well have been a New Age Christian
living decades before the start of the contemporary New Age movement.
From a library I borrowed Ellen
G. White, Prophet of Destiny by Rene Noorbergen.
It began by describing a vision in which Ellen
White saw the 1906 San Francisco earthquake several days before its actual
occurrence. [Ellen
White was the daughter of a lay preacher and was brought up as a strict
Methodist. She claimed to have had her first vision in 1844. In 1863, she
co-founded the Seventh-day Adventist Church as a formal denomination.] The
apparent psychic ability was impressive and encouraged me to read on.
A general discussion followed concerning the
difference between psychic ability and prophecy. The author analyzed psychic
mediums such as Edgar Cayce, Jeane Dixon, and Peter Hurkos from the standpoint
of comparing their teachings with biblical Scripture. Then followed a short
biography of Ellen White's early life.
My attention was then drawn to the chapter “Unmasking
the Mastermind” containing Ellen
White's narrative of a vision she had in 1858. [The vision is known as the Great Controversy Vision.]
She wrote:
“The Lord has shown me that Satan was once an
honored angel in heaven... next to Christ. His countenance, like those of the
other angels, was mild and expressive of happiness. His forehead was high and
broad, showing great intelligence. His form was perfect; his bearing noble and majestic.
But when God said to his Son, ‘Let us make man in our image’, Satan was jealous
of Jesus. He wished to be consulted concerning the formation of man, and
because he was not, he was filled with envy jealousy and hatred. He desired to
receive the highest honors in heaven next to God”.
I wondered whether there really was a Satan who
rebelled in heaven with a bunch of evil angels. I remembered that Muriel
sometimes talked about Satan and negative forces; she seemed to think he was a
real being. Djwhal Khul, on the other hand, denounced the idea that a great
enemy of God existed; he considered the devil to be a fictitious myth.
Ellen
White's narrative drew my attention again.
“Until this time... all heaven had been in
order, harmony and perfect subjection to the government of God. It was the
highest sin to rebel against His order and will. All heaven seemed in
commotion.... There was contention among the angels. Satan and his sympathizers
were striving to reform the government of God. They wished to look into His
unsearchable wisdom and ascertain His purpose in exalting Jesus and endowing
Him with such unlimited power and command. They rebelled against the authority
of the Son. All the heavenly host were summoned to appear before the Father to
have each case decided. It was there determined that Satan should be expelled
from heaven, with all the angels who had joined him in the rebellion”.
I began to consider that maybe there really was
an archangel in heaven called Satan who became jealous and rebelled against
God. Perhaps Satan existed somewhere upon our planet in the realm of the spirit
planes.
I read on.
“Satan stood in amazement at his new condition.
His happiness was gone. He looked upon the angels who, with him, were once so
happy, but who had been expelled from heaven with him. Before their fall not a
shade of discontent had marred their perfect bliss. Now all seemed changed. Countenances
which had reflected the image of their Maker were gloomy and despairing.
Strife, discord, and bitter recrimination were among them...
“When Satan became fully conscious that there
was no possibility of his being brought again into favor with God, his malice
and hatred began to manifest. He consulted with his angels, and a plan was laid
to still work against God's government. When Adam and Eve were placed in the beautiful
garden, Satan was laying plans to destroy them. It was decided that Satan
should assume another form and manifest an interest for man. He must insinuate
against God's truthfulness and create doubt whether God did mean just what He
said”.
Putting the book down, I contemplated on this
fascinating account of the rebellion. Did Satan really rebel and then feel
gloom and despair in his separation from God?
I picked up the book again and continued to
read.
“Satan commenced his work with Eve, to cause
her to disobey ... As soon as Eve had disobeyed she became a powerful medium
through which to occasion the fall of her husband ...
“...Then Satan exulted...
“The news of man's fall spread through heaven.
Every harp was hushed. The angels cast their crowns from their heads in sorrow.
All heaven was in agitation.
“... Satan triumphed. He had made others suffer
by his fall. He had been shut out of heaven ... they out of paradise”.
Wondering whether there had been an Adam and
Eve who were tempted by the devil in Paradise, I recalled that, as a Christian
teenager, I had accepted the teaching that life started with God's creation as
recorded in Genesis. But for some reason, I had discounted the idea that Adam
and Eve were tempted and fell. It was as if I didn't want to believe in a Satan
who could tempt people. I felt more at ease with the idea that temptation was
an internal process occurring within a person's psyche caused by foolishness
and ignorance”.
I recalled that Muriel believed in the Genesis
account of the fall. Based upon revelations from Jesus, she told us that Eve's
sin was a terrible catastrophe and subsequently caused all the suffering we now
find on the planet.
I returned to Ellen
White's narrative.
“He [real Jesus] then made known to the angelic
host that a way of escape had been made for lost man. He told them that He had
been pleading with His Father, and had offered to give His life as a ransom, to
take the sentence of death upon Himself, that through Him man might find
pardon; that through the merits of His blood, and obedience to the law of God, they
could have the favor of God, and be brought into the beautiful garden, and eat
of the fruit of the tree of life.
“At first the angels could not rejoice; for
their Commander concealed nothing from them, but opened before them the plan of
salvation. Jesus told them that He would stand between the wrath of His Father
and guilty man, that He would bear iniquity and scorn, and but few would receive
Him as the Son of God. Nearly all would hate and reject Him”.
Resting my eyes for a moment, I thought, So
this was how the beloved Jesus planned to redeem mankind: He offered to take on
the karma of the world and pay the price by his own death. Amazing.
I was anxious to read on.
“He would leave all glory in heaven, appear
upon earth as a man, humble Himself as a man, become acquainted by His own
experience with the various temptations with which man would be beset, that He
might know how to succor those who should be tempted; and that finally, after
His mission as a teacher would be accomplished, He would be delivered into the
hands of men, and endure almost every cruelty and suffering that Satan and his
angels could inspire wicked men to inflict; that He would die the cruelest of
deaths, hung between the heavens and the earth, as a guilty sinner; that He
would suffer dreadful hours of agony, which even angels could not look upon,
but would veil their faces from the sight. Not merely agony of body would He
suffer, but mental agony, that with which bodily suffering could in no wise be
compared. The weight of the sins of the whole world would be upon Him. He told
them He would die and rise again the third day, and would ascend to His Father
to intercede for wayward, guilty man…
“With a holy sadness Jesus comforted and
cheered the angels and informed them that hereafter those whom He should redeem
would be with Him, and that by His death He should ransom many and destroy him
who had the power of death. And His Father would give Him the kingdom ... under
the whole heaven, and He would possess it forever and ever. Satan and sinners
would be destroyed, nevermore to disturb heaven or the purified new earth”.
I felt a sense of admiration and awe as I
appreciated the task that Jesus had accomplished. Turning back to the book, I
read further:
“I was shown Satan as he once was, a happy,
exalted angel. Then I was shown him as he now is. He still bears a kingly form.
His features are still noble, for he is an angel fallen. But the expression of
his countenance is full of anxiety, care, unhappiness, malice, hate, mischief,
deceit, and every evil. That brow which was once so noble, I particularly
noticed. His forehead commenced from his eyes to recede. I saw that he had so long
bent himself to evil that every good quality was debased, and every evil trait
was developed. His eyes were cunning, sly, and showed great penetration. His
frame was large, but the flesh hung loosely about his hands and face. As I
beheld him, his chin was resting upon his left hand. He appeared to be in deep
thought. A smile was upon his countenance, which made me tremble, it was so
full of evil and satanic slyness”.
In my imagination I pictured the image of Satan
as described by Ellen
White. Suddenly I felt devastated and weak with a monumental realization.
“It is him”, I gasped aloud. “It is my master”.
“I have been a follower of Satan all these
years”.
Feeling as if I had been thrown out of an
airplane without a parachute, I shuddered in anguish as my whole world
collapsed before me.
As I again imaged the evil, sly smile upon
Satan's countenance, a horrifying thought pierced my mind: I had been watching
him set up his New Age, counterfeit Christianity; his final trump card would be
for him to appear on our planet in a physical body and claim to be Jesus Christ
- the New Age “reappearance of the Christ”.
“Oh, God!” I exclaimed in shock and agony. “'Djwhal
Khul and Jesus Christ are Satan's
evil angels. They have been deceiving me all these years”. There was no doubt
about it in my mind: I had been a disciple of Satan; the whole New Age movement
and its counterfeit Christianity is a clever plan by Satan to thwart the mission
of true Christianity. I suddenly understood that Satan is ultimately preparing
the world for his spectacular appearance in which millions and millions of
people will proclaim him to be Christ, the returned Messiah. In reality it will
be the appearing of the Antichrist.
A biblical text flashed into my mind: “False
Christs and false prophets will appear ... to deceive even the elect - if that
were possible”.
Devastated with anguish, I was inundated with
one horrifying insight after another: Satan and his angels had been training me
to be a false prophet. I had become their slave. All those so-called masters of
the Hierarchy have never lived as evolved humans in the Himalayas or anywhere
else. The masters and the other New Age spirit guides are nothing more than
Satan's angels masquerading as agents of God; they are the very angels who were
thrown out of heaven at the time of Satan's great rebellion.
Thinking back to the incredible visitation of
Djwhal Kuhl some six years before, I realized that I had been completely fooled
by the brilliance of his appearance and the claim that he was a 350-year-old
Tibetan guru who had finally reached immortality after several incarnations
upon this planet. I was shattered to know that Djwhal Kuhl had never ever lived
as a human being, but was, in fact, a satanic angel.
I realized that, as an angel, Djwhal Khul had
the power to take on a human form and appear as a man, even looking like Jesus
Christ. He could appear in his etheric “light body” as he had appeared to me;
or he could appear in a physical, flesh-and-blood body, as he had first
appeared to Muriel in 1963.
Feeling like a person who has just received news
of the death of a spouse, I was stunned into motionless silence.
Thoughts began welling up in my mind concerning
all the money and time I had devoted to the New Age movement, all the hours
spent in meditation and study. It was all for nothing. All that had been
achieved was to ensure my eternal destruction by the fires of hell. All my
endeavors to lead people to Jesus Christ
and New Age Christianity were simply maneuvers to bring them on the road
leading to everlasting death.
I now accepted the real biblical Jesus. The
rapidity of my conviction paralleled several convictions recorded in the book
of Acts - the conversion of 3000 in one day after Pentecost, Saul's encounter
on the road to Damascus, and the conversion of the Philippian jailer.
Sitting in motionless introspection for hours,
I found the memory banks of my mind flooding open like a bursting dam. I began
to review my youth and remembered the long-forgotten steps I had taken that
slowly led away from Christian teachings and brought me into the world of
mysticism and the occult.
Suddenly, a profound memory surfaced that made
me aghast at its implications. The memory concerned a visit I had made as a
youth to a movie theater showing a certain film about devil worship. I had
completely forgotten this event in my life, as if the memory had been buried
deep in my subconscious. In the trauma of my dramatic exit from the New Age,
the memory surfaced with vivid clarity and detail.
I was fifteen years old at the time, and life
seemed some-what boring. Everyone portrayed on TV seemed to live a dynamic and
interesting existence. This created a desire for excitement to counteract the
mundane rut I perceived myself to be in.
Across from my high school was a theater
specializing in horror movies, generally of the Frankenstein type. Looking at
the posters, I used to think how exciting it would be to see some of these
films that were too grisly to be shown on television. Disobeying the counsel of
my parents, I visited the theater on several occasions.
Remembering clearly the scenes from this specific
devil-worship movie, I was shocked to realize that this film was directly
responsible for starting me on the road to the real world of the occult.
The movie The
Devil Rides Out had two main characters. The leading character was a young
man who was being lured into a group of devil worshipers. His antagonist was a
modern-day Magus, or occult magician. The Magus - the “good” man in the plot -
was attempting to rescue the young man from his involvement with influential
satanists.
The devil worshipers were a group of rich
aristocrats and powerful businessmen. At pre-arranged times, they met at a
remote, country estate to participate in various satanic rites and rituals
designed to enhance their wealth, power, and social standing.
The crisis in the film centered on a major
festival planned by the Satan worshipers, during which they planned to invoke
the personal presence of the devil himself, so that he would bless them with
even greater power and wealth. As part of the festival, the young man was
scheduled to be ceremonially initiated into full membership of the satanic
lodge.
The film showed the members of this satanic
cult arriving at the worship scene in beautiful antique Rolls Royces, with
paint and chrome glistening like diamonds. A large bonfire was burning in a
forest clearing. Near the fire, they erected an altar dedicated to Satan.
The movie depicted the Magus - planning to
orchestrate a dramatic rescue of the young man - performing ritual magic to
protect himself from the power of Satan. He centered himself inside a large
astrological horoscope drawn on the floor of a room in his mansion. He
performed various prayers and incantations, using a crucifix and other mystic
paraphernalia in the process. He lighted large candles and recited various
occult mantras, even quoting some biblical-sounding texts.
I can remember being deeply fascinated by the
film. As a bored teenager, the exciting lifestyle and drama depicted in the
film scenes especially intrigued me. It was easy to be drawn by the lavish
wealth and the beautiful women possessed by the lodge members. The exciting
activities of the Magus, with all his mystical paraphernalia, were equally
stimulating and intriguing.
Sitting in deep introspection as I vividly
remembered the scenes from the movie, I realized in horror that something
subtle and sinister had happened to me as I watched that film. A powerful seed
of fascination with the occult and the mystical had been sown in my own psyche.
The seed did not germinate for several years. But it was deeply rooted and
gradually drew me into the enchanting world of mysticism and the occult.
As I focused on the memory of the movie, I had the
powerful insight that, as a teenager, my absorption with the film started a
definite relationship with Satan. I had subtly crossed over a subconscious
threshold in which my inner nature accepted the idea of mysticism as a means of
gaining personal power. I was primed and ready to later enthusiastically
swallow Satan's lure of New Age metaphysics.
I shudder when I think about what is happening
in the movie theaters of today. Films about the occult and the mystical are
commonplace. Even such apparently innocuous episodes as E.T. and Star Wars are
seeped in occult and mystical concepts. For example, it is known that George
Lucas, the creator of the Star Wars trilogy of films, was heavily influenced by
Carlos Castaneda's book Tales of Power.
[The Reincarnation Sensation p. 16, by
N. L. Geisler and J. Y. Amano. Tyndale House, 1986.] Castaneda's account of the
Mexican Indian sorcerer, Don Juan, was a book that strongly motivated me to
search for New Age shamans in Los Angeles.
How ironic that the “good” character in the
film The Devil Rides Out was actually
every bit as satanic as the devil worshipers themselves, the supposedly “evil”
people in the plot. Today I can see how Satan uses his brilliant intellect to
deceive New Agers into believing that they are “good” guys trying to spread
light and wisdom in an evil world of ignorance.
The devil has scored a major publicity victory
by inspiring the media to represent him as a loathsome, fictitious being having
the form of an ugly beast. The Devil
Rides Out portrayed Satan as a beast with the body of a man and the head of
a bull. Other common images picture Satan as a red ghoulish devil with horns,
wearing a black cape and holding a pitchfork. This image is so bizarre that
most people have totally discounted Satan's real existence and regard him as a
purely mythical figure. Even though I was brought up as a Christian, I did not
believe that Satan existed. Few people are aware of Satan's true existence and
identity: an angel of light looking similar to how one would expect Jesus
Christ to look.
If people do not stand firmly behind the truth
of the Bible as the inerrant Word of God, they are easily led astray when Satan
appears in his shining angelic form. They automatically think that the great
being of light in front of them is Jesus Christ - or at least one of God's
great angels - no matter what unbiblical ideas the false messenger begins to
propound.
When the same manifestation occurs to New Age
apostles, they are stimulated to teach philosophies of greater deception. Take
for example, Paramahansa Yogananda, the guru founder of the USA-based
Hindu/Christian sect Self Realization Fellowship. When a satanic angel visited
him and masqueraded as Jesus Christ, Yogananda incorporated Christianity into his pagan Hindu
religion, thereby making it simultaneously more devious and acceptable to
Westerners. By this maneuver, even more people could be led astray.
When you consider, for example, 54 percent of
the clergy of a major mainline denomination do not believe that the devil is a
personal being who directs evil forces, then it is no wonder people will be led
astray by signs, wonders and miracles. [Gallop survey published in Christianity
Today, June 6, 1980.] For if they reject the idea of Satan's existence, they
assume that all miraculous and wondrous religious manifestations must come from
God.
Even if a person believes in Satan's existence,
the visit from an angelic being tends to so inflate one's ego that he is
reluctant to consider the possibility that the mysterious visitor is other than
a divine being sent from God.
For a couple of weeks after the realization
that I had been a disciple of Satan, I was awash with memories of how as a
child and adolescent I had become more and more rebellious against Christian
teachings and the good qualities of my character. For instance, I started to
curse and use obscene language in order to blend in with the habits of my play
friends. Eventually I was so immersed in sin and worldliness that the devil was
able to take control of my life and lead me into his domain.
Later I had mistakenly believed that my
subsequent entry into “mystical Christianity” was a venture bringing me toward
greater godliness and peace. Instead, I was actually being lured deeper and
deeper into the Mastermind's evil trap.
I recoil in horror as I think about what would
have happened to me at the second coming of Christ if I had not been rescued
from my counterfeit beliefs. When the trumpet sounded, the mighty earthquake
shook, and the host of heavenly angels appeared, I would have considered myself
ready and eager for the rapture. Then would have followed the terrible
devastation as I discovered I was not being taken up. I would have claimed in
desperation, “Lord, Lord, did I not preach in your name; did not miracles and
signs and wonders appear in my life?”
Imagine the excruciating shock to hear the
words, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoer”.
After my rescue from Satan's darkness, I was so
glad to have found deliverance and to know the true Jesus Christ, his mission
and his sacrifice on the cross. Instead of being a false apostle, I now joined
Christian congregations as a repenting sinner.
I apologized to my Christian contacts for
trying to lead them astray. After I told them of my former identity and story,
they were amazed to learn I had been a Bible carrying disciple of Satan. They
were not aware that they had been targets of the secret invasion.
I was so shaken at the time of my departure
from the occult, I had to seek counseling support from Christian pastors and
educators. Several weeks of trauma passed before I started to feel confidence
in victory over Satan's counterattacks of intimidation and harassment.
My exit from Satan's web of deception not only
involved drastic changes in my religious beliefs; I actually noticed quite
marked changes in my physiology.
For example, I had always regarded the stereo
in my new car to perform poorly in spite of its being an expensive unit. The
system seemed to lack bass tones. I had taken the car in to have the sound
system repaired, but without success.
A couple of weeks after ceasing all meditation
and metaphysical activity, I noticed I could hear rich, deep bass tones on my
car stereo. It seems as if my total bondage of slavery to Satan had actually
produced changes in my physiology. These changes seemed to reverse when I
became a follower of the real, biblical Jesus and stopped my meditation
activities.
I now regard deep involvement in New Age
consciousness-raising techniques to act somewhat as a cocaine of the mind. For
example, after my exit from the New Age, I noticed that for about a month I
felt oversensitive to stimulus. For instance, the noise of a crowded restaurant
bothered me a great deal. It was as if I were suffering from “cold turkey”
withdrawal symptoms. I concluded that the prolonged use of meditation
techniques actually produced subtle changes within my brain, as if I had been
absorbing a type of psychic cocaine during meditation. It took a couple of
months before I felt normal.
Upon my return to the body of Christ a lot of
my thinking had to be reprogrammed. I had been so deeply indoctrinated into the
ideas of metaphysics that I was sometimes unsure if an idea was biblical, or if
it was something that I had absorbed during New Age training and study.
I was relieved to be rescued. Satan's angels
had made my life a nightmare of oppression. Having taken over my voice of
conscience, they could interject into my mind and influence my emotions at any
time, thereby making me a slave to their demands. When the slavery was broken,
I rejoiced in the release of freedom of choice.
I am so thankful to God for sending the Holy
Spirit to inspire me to read something that broke the Mastermind's power. I
attribute the action of the Holy Spirit to be in response to the earnest
prayers of devoted Christians, particularly my parents, who had suspected I was
being deceived and who had diligently spent years praying for my deliverance.
For their prayers, I am humbly thankful. For the special prayer by the woman
from Jack Hayford's church, I am grateful.
I thank God I am saved through the love and
grace of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for his word, the Bible, and for the power
of prayer that reveals truth and protects us from deception and evil. I am
thankful for the assurance of one day being with God in his glorious heaven and
reigning with him on the new earth.
I say with Paul, “The Lord will rescue me...
and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory for ever and
ever” (2 Timothy 4:18).
I rejoice that I have personally experienced
the fulfillment of Jesus' promise that “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
The End
Will Baron - Author
Pacific Press Publishing Assoc.
ISBN 0-8163-1022-X
